i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
