..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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