HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
