Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
