Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
