She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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