next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
that is very illegal...i love you.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
