We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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