You're my little dorito
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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