Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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