Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
