im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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