I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
