Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
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