the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
