: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
