It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
