My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
