Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
