well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
