she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
