How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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