I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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