Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize