I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
did i just pee glitter
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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