I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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