What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
