I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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