He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
where are you?
Hypothermia
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize