He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
