he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
