Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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