i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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