could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
