i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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