Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
