But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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