Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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