called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
