Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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