Who did Billy Mays play for?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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