he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
