i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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