I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Randomize
