we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
