Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
