At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
