girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
