he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
