you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
