OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize