You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
