i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
