I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
