Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We're too hungover to prance.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own