Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The air was thick with penises
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."