I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.