I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
How's work?
Spinning.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
