then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
