JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
