are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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