Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
