The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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