yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
