She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize