he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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